have you ever ?

have you ever loved somebody so much.... and it makes you cry ?

have you ever needed something so bad and you can't sleep at night ?

have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right ?

have you ever ? :))

have you ever been in love so bad, you'd do anything to make them understand ?

have you ever had someone steal your heart away ?? :) and you'd give anything to make them feel the same ~

have you ever searched the words to get you in their heart ?

but you don't know what to say and where to start -,-

have you ever found the one you dreamed all your life ??

you'd do just about anything to look into their eyes <3

have you finally found the one ? :)

have you ever given your heart to someone only to find that they won't give their heart to you ? :'(

 have you ever ?

have you ever closed your eyes and dreamed that they were there ??

have you ?

while all you can do is wait.....for the day that they will care.. :(

credits for the lyrics :)))

westlife - have you ever

exam ? senang ja bha tu :DD

omg ! time flies.. yupp ! i don't even realize that i almost done my first semester in university ! yayy ~ haha ( baru part one lahhh ). and now.. :(( the saddest part is, it's 2 weeks only before exam and i haven't ready anthing yett.. oh my.. this is so pathetic T_T ~~

well, i dun come here to fail by the wayy..but ~~~~ arghhh !!!!!! oh my God, i feel like crying now.. God, i'm so scaredd.. huhu.. i remember that dayy when all my mood fly away ~ i can't even smile or laugh..and it all because this exam. i just so scareddd ~~ huhu.. wait. tau takut, but still juga malas mau study... arghh,,why can't I be like anybody else ?? yang rajin-rajin yuee ?? huhu

i don't want banana fruit 2 times ( HAHAHAHA). yeahh~ i mean, i don't want to repeat my mistakes..like what i've done in my matriculation time. i screwed it all away..especially during 1st sem. huhu.. i got the chance, but then blow it away just like thattt ~~

i know, it time now for me to add oil ! chayok-chayok ! i know i can do it ! yeahh..mind-set bebyy ~~ yup.. JANGAN TAKUT, PERCAYA SAJAAA :)) yeahh ! i love my God. i know He'll always there for me. :) now i will just do my best to study whatever it is, and let my God do the rest. i remember He said in the Bible, " Jangan takut, sebab Aku ini Allah mu ".. Yes Lord, i shall not afraid, for You are there for me.. amen. I can do this. yeahh ~ percaya saja. :))

to mum && dad, i promise i won't let both of you down this time. i'll make you proud :)

to me, pleasee..study hard + smart :) okay.

to  f.love, goodluck :)

to God, I LOVE YOU more than anything <3

aim : Dean Award. amen ;p

when you're gone...

here's my aki. My beloved aki :)) it's been 13 days now since he passed away. yupp.. i still miss him . yupp. deeply missing him. my tears still won't stop :'( it was 30th of November when i was in the bank with my friends when i got phone call from my Mummy. i was so excited about the phone call because i thought i was about the money that I've requested. hehehe :)) but all of sudden, my tears burst as i've been told that Aki has gone... after suffer for a long time with his illness. i was so sad. regretting the days when i was not there to look after him... i remember he said, before i registered into university, i was eating in front of him, with my cousins.. he looked us, and says, " if i die, don't leave me. stay beside me until the day you bury me, " then my grandma tease him by saying, ' nope, we will just throw your body into the river and let the crocodiles eat you," hahaha :'D we follow her by laughing. then with blurryy face, my Aki said, ' Haina' - a murutians languange ... hahaha.. it was so funny that time. goshhh.. :'(.. how i miss the smile of my Aki... 9.45 p.m,November,30th, i got up from my chair ready for boarding. i got into the que, grabbing some kit kat nugget from my backpack, filling my empty stomach. hmmm. only God knows how i can't wait to reach Sabah. huhuhu.. 1.00 a.m, we arrived KKIA, and my dad directly drive to Tenom. 5.00 a.m sharp, we arrived at my village... i got into the house, i saw a coffin, covered with blanket. as i walk approaching the coffin, my cousin opened the cover... my God, i can't help my feeling. i burst into tears. i can't believe, my Aki, that one time, always tells a bedtime story to me, gives me money to buy ice-cream..now lying inside the coffin, pale and cold. :'((( i cried till my heart contented.... until i fall asleep beside his coffin. i saw my cousins were sleeping beside him too. just as his wish.. except for my sister. she was in Sarawak that time.. time goes by.. i looked at the clock, it was 3 p.m.. i saw my uncles and some villager standing, like the are ready to lift the coffin.. i know it's the time for burial.. i can feel my tears falling down from my eyes. i know it was the last chance too see my Aki's face.. i saw my grandmother hugs the coffin. she cried out loud.. i know how she felt... 5 p.m, the burial ceremony ended.. we got back to home.. everyone shed their tears..hah. even they wipe their tears away, i know, their heart still full with sorrow :((

 Aki, you will be missed. we'll never forget you. I know, we all will meet again :)) You're in a better place now,,free from the illness you suffered in this world. Rest In Peace, beloved Aki Lunam...

God, forgive him for all the he'd done. Make him stay with you. in the name of Jesus, amen.. -.-